Sunday 17 July 2011

Diagnosis

A diagnosis can be a really positive thing- instead of labelling you, it should point you in the right direction. The truth is that a diagnosis doesn't change the way things are. It also doesn't change the past. It does, however, help you look at things from a different perspective and possibly change things for the better.

The next bit is something I'm slightly ashamed of. The first time I ever heard the word "Asperger's Syndrome" was when the school sent home a letter suggesting to my parents that I should be reffered for an assesment for it. Nobody had ever said the word before.

As an eleven year old (or was I twelve? It doesn't really matter!) who had never heard the word before, I didn't really know how to react. Nobody told me anything about it for a while. My mum was reading up on it, and gradually it all started to make sense to her. It didn't, however, make any sense to me.

I didn't have a particularly good relationship with my parents at the time. We argued, a lot. And when they told me that I was going to "The child and family guidance centre" which is essentially the same place as CAMHS, or "child and adolescent mental health services" where I live, to be assesed for Asperger's Syndrome, I reacted kind of badly.

Note: To any parents who might ever read this, this could probably scare you a little bit when it comes to telling a child about their diagnosis. Remember that most people don't seem to react as badly as I did. If I'd known more about it, I doubt I would have reacted badly at all.

From my point of view, it was a way for my parents to try and tell me something was wrong with me. I was convinced that they were simply trying to blame me for all of our arguments and tell me that I would always be wrong and couldn't do the things I wanted to do. Now I know that's completely not the case! I almost flat out refused to go and when they eventually convinced me, I hardly said a word during the entire appointment. I told them, afterwards, that I didn't want to hear about it ever again.

I'm kind of ashamed now for reacting so badly, and picking on all of these little things. It was easy to deny everything without really knowing anything about it.

I think that my bad reaction could have probably been mostly avoided if I had known more about AS. I don't blame anybody for this. I just wish I'd learnt more. I've only recently started to really learn about AS- if I'd known more before, and if somebody had told me about it in a way leaning towards a positive viewpoint rather than a negative one, I think the whole mess could have been avoided.

In some ways this is a pointless rant. To anybody who tells somebody about a diagnosis- please make sure they know about it first. Make sure you tell them that they're not doing anything wrong, and that they're just as informed as you about the entire thing.

As it was, I didn't actually find out for sure about my diagnosis until I was thirteen.

Since then I've discovered that a diagnosis can be a really positive thing. As I said before, it doesn't change anything. Here are some of the positives for me:

- It means you can learn about it, and in the process learn more about yourself, strengths and difficulties.

- It helps you search for ways to cope and improve your life.

- It explains some of the difficulties you might have been having, and reassures you that they don't mean you're "wrong" in any way.

- It means that you can talk to other people about it, for instance in a support group or on a forum like www.wrongplanet.net.

Overall, a diagnosis can be a really good thing, and definitely can't make anything worse. So it's worth getting one, in my opinion :)

I don't react badly to AS at all anymore and I'm glad that I have a diagnosis. This way I can talk to others and learn about it, mostly by reading, and at least there's an explanation for the way I feel so disconnected from everybody else sometimes!

2 comments:

  1. I agree totally about diagnosis being a positive. for my family it offered a peace of mind, and a tag we could use to get me the right support. As a result, I'm always surprised when adults with AS complain about being 'labelled.' I was always aware something wasn't right with me, and the diagnosis took away the scary unknown feeling

    Voyager

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  2. A great informative blog.Keep posting articles like.You have a great knowledge of the subject.Thanks for sharing such an article where education of people matters the most

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